Sunday, January 17, 2010

"you wouldn't be so cold if you'd stop licking the hair off your butt!"

...
In the great pantheon of funny things my mom has said, that little gem, directed at kitty Jazmine, is one of my all-time favorites.

After a painful and stubborn battle, the world's snuggliest kitty passed away last night. Today, The Sister and I drove her to a crematory in Reno:



oh yeah, that's a dead kitty in a box

We like to maximize the humor of death. It's how we deal.

We also like to eat, so while we were waiting to pick up kitty's remains, we drove out to The Parents house and made them make us eggs (Mom) and pancakes (Dad). Then I took a three-hour nap while The Sister went food shopping at the Wal-Mart.

When we got home and The Sister told me what she had planned for Jazmine's final resting place, I immediately remembered the Mom quote and laughed.

See, Jazzy was going through a period of emotional instability. Mystic had recently arrived and Jazmine was acting out by licking off patches of her own hair. For a while I referred to her as Skin-Beard the Pirate Cat.

Eventually, she licked her own ass bare, and when she was cold, she would sit on the heater vents, prompting Mom to yell funny things at her.

It was a habit she would hold onto the rest of her life.

And into her afterlife, as well:


Jazmine's final resting box, near her favorite heater vent

Good-bye, dear Skin-Beard. We will miss your snuggles and your bitchy attitude, you old broad.
 

2 comments:

Snatchattractor said...

RIP kitty!

xjerryx said...

Ah, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm in a state of perpetual fear of what life will be like without my kitty (Pixie), who just may be the actual snuggle queen, no disrespect.